i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
