You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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