Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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