ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
