I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
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The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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