You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
