You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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