i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
this just has baby written all over it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
