I wanna bring you to show and tell
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
