Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
