I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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