I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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