do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
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You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
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Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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