And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
