wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
