He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize