Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
