I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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