that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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