My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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