I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize