At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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