Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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