who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
