Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
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I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
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He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize