I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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