I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize