but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
