that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
