Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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