she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
