when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
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you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
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So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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