Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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