And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He felt like a one man threesome
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
