Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize