I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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