I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
