ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
