so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
