Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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