if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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