Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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