She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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