You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
