I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
