Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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