Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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