Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
someone owes me an orgasm
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
