8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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