Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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