his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
