i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
