a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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