I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
