I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
