Someone shit on the floor
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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