do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This is the high leading the old right now
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
