the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
