Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
