Whats the glycemic index on semen?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
