Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
