Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
