I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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