Dual....:-)
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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