I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
