Texts From Last Night

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  (251): View more from Alabama

  My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.

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  (251): My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me. http://tfl.nu/ksmg
  Replies (8) Good night (564) Bad night (2800)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.

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  (301): I wish Pampers made couches for people like us. http://tfl.nu/vwfv
  Replies (6) Good night (723) Bad night (3197)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home." 

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  (708): I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."  http://tfl.nu/9eb3
  Replies (15) Good night (7236) Bad night (1175)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea

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  (732): the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea http://tfl.nu/kd80
  Replies (27) Good night (5958) Bad night (1106)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"

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  (419): I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion" http://tfl.nu/b5an
  Replies (11) Good night (7068) Bad night (1032)
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  (516): View more from New York

  That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it

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  (516): That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it http://tfl.nu/ocmo
  Replies (13) Good night (1641) Bad night (3204)
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  (914): View more from New York

  friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day

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  (914): friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day http://tfl.nu/igko
  Replies (5) Good night (2297) Bad night (782)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.

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  (613): You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw. http://tfl.nu/41w7
  Replies (10) Good night (1513) Bad night (993)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?

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  (228): Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know? http://tfl.nu/qpy1
  Replies (10) Good night (1804) Bad night (554)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook

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  (303): Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook http://tfl.nu/i5be
  Replies (5) Good night (548) Bad night (1515)
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  (+81): View more from

  There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"

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  (+81): There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there" http://tfl.nu/7b6f
  Replies (2) Good night (1169) Bad night (448)
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  (510): View more from California

  Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.

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  (510): Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day. http://tfl.nu/eul1
  Replies (2) Good night (426) Bad night (322)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.

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  (919): As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage. http://tfl.nu/44x8
  Replies (0) Good night (567) Bad night (223)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that

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  (830): I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that http://tfl.nu/26i3
  Replies (1) Good night (284) Bad night (186)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.

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  (919): we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise. http://tfl.nu/z0vg
  Replies (0) Good night (50) Bad night (44)

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