Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!