with your own penis?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
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the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
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I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest