Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I am puke

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  (617): I am puke http://tfl.nu/8ec4
  Replies (2) Good night (816) Bad night (1126)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?

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  (414): Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point? http://tfl.nu/qhrq
  Replies (15) Good night (5074) Bad night (1087)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before

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  (309): I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before http://tfl.nu/c2z8
  Replies (26) Good night (5836) Bad night (962)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower

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  (250): I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower http://tfl.nu/dtnj
  Replies (14) Good night (6071) Bad night (1101)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet

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  (307): All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet http://tfl.nu/uky8
  Replies (6) Good night (938) Bad night (2151)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.

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  (517): Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever. http://tfl.nu/mubr
  Replies (10) Good night (5422) Bad night (795)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away

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  (954): malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away http://tfl.nu/rorw
  Replies (10) Good night (3570) Bad night (970)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me

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  (716): i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me http://tfl.nu/peek
  Replies (9) Good night (3403) Bad night (962)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.

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  (612): I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies. http://tfl.nu/bycy
  Replies (5) Good night (1995) Bad night (882)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.

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  (781): You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right. http://tfl.nu/fzy9
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (831)
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  (714): View more from California

  There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.

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  (714): There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody. http://tfl.nu/evby
  Replies (5) Good night (704) Bad night (362)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.

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  (865): No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing. http://tfl.nu/ca26
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (337)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed

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  (306): I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed http://tfl.nu/ufxs
  Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (226)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!

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  (317): Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard! http://tfl.nu/ozlx
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (198)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.

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  (914): She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude. http://tfl.nu/hykh
  Replies (0) Good night (302) Bad night (257)

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