The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
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