I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.