So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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