We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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