you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
she smelled like a LAN party
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
